but seriously, i wish those geese in the field behind my house would shut up. you'd think i'd be used to the noise because i used to live in downtown Toronto right by the clubbing district, but you just can't yell "JUST SHUT UP AND EAT YOUR DAMN BIG MAC QUIETLY, YOU DOUCHE!" at the geese like the way you can yell at drunk jocks.

a week-long pit stop in ottawa

i shake the dust from this small town
i turn and follow the western wind down
i go and pack up my shiny things
and go, just go...
-everclear

i've been digging through my roots during my week-long pit stop in ottawa and some of it perplexes me. i've left my music collection behind in toronto so all i have here are my vinyls (and i'm too lazy to set up my record player) and CDs that i didn't care to bring with me. so that's Everclear and a bunch of compilation CDs with boy bands on them. there was a time when i really liked Everclear. i think in my guiltiest moments i have to admit that i still am really into them. you just had to be there at the time. yes, i know i was ten years old when Sparkle and Fade came out.

also, i found my old poetry and novels i wrote some ten years ago. it's pretty awful stuff.

i'm going to leave toronto for a while in an attempt to clear my head and sort things out. i'll be heading for vancouver in a few days but for now it's nice to be back home. days like today i wish i could stay in ottawa for the summer, because ottawa's the most magical and beautiful in the summertime. today i went for a long walk with gwen along the Ottawa River, watching the strong currents rush past, and then heading back into Hintonburg to eat ice cream in a parking lot. i think i'm starting to heal. it's going to be a long process but i know vancouver will be good for that.

i'll find a new life in old l.a.
stupid happy with everything
i pulled myself down so easily
i know, i know, i know

i'm in ottawa and i'm trying to write this *@$%*&@&*^ paper.

things for me to look forward to:

April 25: I move out of Toronto and back to Ottawa
May 2: I move out of Ottawa to Vancouver
May 15: I have writen into my planner, "Follow Ryan and his TOFU party to Portland...."
May 23: SASQUATCH MUSIC FESTIVAL, just outside of Seattle. Must make a mental note to find a buddy to go down with.

welcome to shady acres...deal with the consequences.

spent part of the long weekend at eccles' cottage at Stony Lake. the cottage, Shady Acres, seems like a surreal magical setting straight out of Doctor Snuggles, which is a TV reference i didn't know about until this weekend because i was not born in the seventies (more on this later).

the folks that hang out there tend to be slightly older than me, so Shady Acres is frozen in a time period or a lifetime that i *just* missed. Batman cartoons and Doctor Snuggles, four track recorders, cassette tape players blasting Sonic Youth/Tool/My Bloody Valentine/Pearl Jam.

time stands still at Shady Acres - we used to hide the clocks and watches too, and as a result weird things happen. what i mean is, basically some of us were playing badminton in shorts while others were building snowmen in the yard. i waded in the lake past the ice floes and sunbathed on the dock. April is an odd month.