The magic is gone: I can no longer listen to the Flaming Lips the same way

These are my reflections in response to recent news about The Flaming Lips frontman Wayne Coyne's decision to fire their drummer over allegations of anti-Native American racism, as well as Mr. Coyne's other actions, including the decision to post a picture of a dog wearing a Native American headdress.

Dear Mr. Coyne,

When I was in my first year of law school, I visited my friend Mike who was working at a recording studio in Scarborough. He had just finished setting up what he described "the perfect sound system". "You've got to listen to try it out," he urged me, and sat me down in the most acoustically perfect spot in the room. He leaned over to press play on the computer and the most wonderful music flowed out of the speaker. I had never heard music presented in such a manner before. I closed my eyes and let the music caress the space between my ears the way a lover would. It was one of the most memorable music experiences I've ever had, where the moment was defined and made special by absolutely nothing other than the music itself.

That song was "The Spark That Bled" by your band, the Flaming Lips. Mike explained to me that he liked using that song to test out his sound system, because he liked it so much.

  I stood up and I said yeah: A fan video of "The Spark That Bled"
I'd been listening to your band long before that perfect music moment. One of my best friends in high school at the time, Bill, was really into the Flaming Lips and he urged me to listen to this "really weird, really awesome" band he discovered. His music taste was pretty good, and I liked what I heard. But I never got fell in love until I listened to those words, "the softest bullet ever shot". After that, I was a convert. I was excited to see you play at Ottawa's Bluesfest, where you arose like a god and seemed to float above the crowd in a giant bubble. Your show was a party, an escape into my childhood's fantasy worlds. Everything was magical. Your music was magical. The experience of listening to you and seeing you in concert was magical. I've now since started my own band and have been trying to re-create that sort of perfect magical musical moment myself.

But with you, that magic is gone now, and I miss it.

I was so sad to read about the latest events. How your friend Christina Fallin posed in a Native American headdress, and astounded by the anger that the photo produced, responded to the people protesting her concert by performing a fake war dance and flipping them off from the stage. And that you were seen pointing and laughing at the protesters. And that you had also responded to the criticism of racism by posting more photos of people and a dog in a headdress. And that you fired your drummer over this issue. I hoped that it wasn't true, and that the journalists had gotten it wrong somehow.

Disappointing when an artist you respected turns out to be a misinformed racist. @waynecoyne of the Flaming Lips,why? pic.twitter.com/sbvkewNLE7
— Deejay NDN (@deejayndn) April 29, 2014

There's an Ontario campaign that asks people where they would draw the line for a political issue. "Your favourite singer assaulted his singer," the campaign asks. "Do you download his latest single?" To be honest, all this time I always thought that it would depend. I thought maybe there would be a way to acknowledge that you disagree with an admired celebrity's personal life while still enjoying their art. But when asked the question: "Your favourite artist disrespects indigenous people. Do you still feel the magic in his music?" the truth is, Mr. Coyne, the magic that I used to feel from your music is now gone, and it has been replaced by a bitter taste in my mouth and a lot of sadness. 

From Draw The Line:  we have to ask ourselves where we draw the line when it comes to our favourite artists' actions.
I am not Aboriginal, and I do not pretend to speak for indigenous people. I don't pretend that I will ever completely understand their experiences, because their history of oppression is unique and different from mine. But as a woman of Asian descent, I know a thing or two about cultural appropriation, when people show up to Halloween parties labelling your culture as a costume, reducing a rich and beautiful world that you grew up in to a ridiculous stereotype. When they say something stupid like, "Your people are very beautiful, and you are very good at math" and are astounded that you aren't falling over flattered. I have experienced being laughed at by people when I tried to stick up for myself against racism. I have had my outrage dismissed as hyper-sensitivity. Do you know what those people were? They were bullies.

Now when I listen to your music, no matter how much I close my eyes and try to conjure up that perfect first moment, all I see are the faces of all those people that laughed at me for being a weird Asian kid, and for some reason - perhaps irrationally, I know - I see your face there too.

Do you at any point take a step back, look at where you are and what you are doing, and wonder, "How did I get to be here, on the side of things where I am laughing at people that have been historically oppressed for centuries? Supporting people who flip them off? How did I get to be that guy?" I hope you are reflecting on this rather than just reacting. I would have liked to have thought that you'd be an ally rather than a bully, but there's nothing that can be done now to bring that magic back. I can no longer listen to your music with the same wonder.

Annoying things that foreigners do in Namibia that annoy me

Happy Africa Day! Today I've been missing Namibia and the amazing times that I had there, so I am putting up this post.

When I was in Namibia, I was a foreigner. I’m sure I committed all sorts of faux-pas and offended all sorts of people unconsciously. But so did a lot of other people. I’ve compiled a list of things that foreigners do that annoy me, as a foreigner, so undoubtedly they probably annoy Namibians even more.

Being vegetarian and moving to a meat-based desert country with very little agriculture and then complaining that Namibian food is no good.. Don’t read me wrong here. You can be a vegetarian. You can move to Namibia. You can wish that there were more vegetarian options in Namibia. But if you didn’t do your research on the country beforehand and are shocked that there aren’t veggie burgers being sold at every take-away stand...well, you should have done the research before moving there. And if you constantly complain to Namibians that their food is inferior, well, you’re an ass.

Spending all your time at home and then complaining that there is nothing to do in Windhoek. Actually, there’s plenty of cool and interesting things happening in Windhoek. You just have to look for it and be willing to try new things. If you find it boring, chances are it’s because you are a boring person.

Treating shebeens like a tourist attraction. This is someone’s hang-out spot. This are where guys like to get together after work and chill out. This is where girls want to grab a drink and catch up with their friends. They do not want to be confronted by a bunch of foreigners treating them like exotic zoo animals. I’m not saying don’t go to shebeens. Shebeens can be fun. But be sensitive, and treat other people the way you would want to be treated in a regular North American bar. Don’t covertly take photos of random people without their permission. Don’t stare. Don’t ask stupid racist questions. Also, don’t be shocked by the feeling that you stand out. As a foreigner in an all-black bar, you totally do stand out. What did you expect?
This is actually a really good guide on how to properly behave when you're in a bar where you stand out.

Treating churches like a tourist attraction. This is someone’s holy place. This is where Namibians go to be closer to God. Maybe you don’t believe in God, and you’re only there because you want to hear the choir sing because you hear the “Africans all sing really well.” Fine. Be respectful and remember that you’re in a place of worship. Don’t take photos while everyone is praying. Don’t take photos of the paster while he or she is preaching. Don’t record the church choir. In fact, why are you taking photos of the church service anyway?

Insisting that Afrikaners who have lived here for decades are not real Africans because they are white. I know there is a lot of political tension between black Namibians and white Namibians, but it is not in your place as a foreigner to consider white Namibians to be “not real Africans”. Some white Africans have been living in Africa for centuries, longer than Americans have been living in America. Most of the ethnic groups in Namibia, actually, have moved to Namibia from other parts of Africa over the centuries. To insist that white Namibians are not true Namibians because they are white and haven’t lived in Namibia forever would mean that I as an Asian Canadian am not a real Canadian – and let’s not go there.

Taking pictures of children without asking their permission (or their parents’ permission.) Think about it. You’re in Central Park in Manhattan. You notice some small kids playing on a playground. You inch up really near to them and start taking intrusive close up photos of them. Somebody is going to think that you’re really creepy. Why would you act differently in Namibia? It doesn’t hurt to ask permission to take someone’s photo first. Chances are they’ll be flattered anyway.

Calling things that are unusual and different from back home “uncivilized”. This especially applies, in my view, if you come from a former colonial power like England or Germany. The way things are run in Namibia may be different from what you’re used to, and you might see it as less efficient than the way you’d personally like to run it, but using a word like “uncivilized” betrays a lack of understanding of the former colonial history of Africa, and a terrible attitude on your part.

Refusing to hang out with anyone but other foreigners, and then complaining that Namibians are unfriendly. Actually, Namibians are people, just like anyone else. Some of them are friendly. Some of them are not. Chances are though, if your only interaction with them are at the checkout line at the grocery store or in taxis, you probably won’t develop a meaningful relationship with any Namibians. Also, if you constantly repeat the faux-pas in this list, they probably won’t find you very friendly either.

Remember, kids: it’s all about building bridges to their cultural iceberg. Although there aren’t a lot of icebergs in Namibia.