Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Kanata Rockeries

I went for a walk with my friend H through Beaver Pond Forest. It's a lovely nature spot where we often hung out as teenagers, and I even wrote a song about it once:

hockey on the frozen pond

Since my adolescence, the forest has been dramatically changed as developers have cut down the trees to build more houses in the neighbourhood. It's a shame to see how the development has spoiled the view - as well as the habitat for many of the animals that live there.

As we walked along the forest path and reached Goulbourn Forced Road (which used to be my favourite road until it got developed), I noticed a small neighbourhood nestled into the woods that I had never seen before. I could only see a few glimpses of houses, but they were all striking. We decided to go check it out.

It turns out that we had come across the Kanata Rockeries, a small private cul-de-sac hidden in the rocky woodlands away from the riffraff of the Kanata Lakes folks. Or, as I liked to think of it, a bourgeoisie Narnia.

This magical hidden land was developed by Bill Teron, the godfather designer of Kanata neighbourhoods. I guess Bill was tired of making normal homes in Kanata and decided to offer fancy custom homes for rich people.

These properties are much larger than the average subdivision lots in Kanata, and each of the houses are strikingly unique and incredibly imposing to the point of being intimidating. But safely hidden within the trees to keep away from the prying eyes of snooping joggers and bloggers. It's a notable difference from the cookie cutter, assembly line, plastic houses in other neighbourhoods in Kanata, developed by Urbandale and Minto and the like.  These houses have personality.  I guess it takes a million dollars to buy a personality.

I snooped, because I have a fascination with rich people's houses.

i'm trying to show you this world but the trees are cleverly standing in the way

Arches in the doorways! Who sees arch doorways in Kanata? 

Take a look at this real estate listing for one of the houses, for example.

"Property Highlights

  • Three Large Sky Domes

  • 3 TV's, Projector & Screen

  • Floor to Ceiling Windows

  • Papillon Black Granite Tub

  • Chair Lift

  • Property Description
    Truly one of a kind 'Frank Lloyd Wright' inspired architectural home. Custom designed and built  by 'Teron', this luxury home is nestled on a 1/2 acre private lot in the heart of prestigious Kanata Rockeries. At over 6,800 square feet, this home is loaded with architectural features such as three large pinnacle sky domes, floor to ceiling windows and massive rooms with 13 foot ceilings. You must come and experience this masterpeice!"

    Not one, but THREE large sky domes. Because one sky dome isn't enough.  And, like, the house is so fancy that you don't even start off your highlights with "Guys, I'm rolling" but "Yeah, I have Three Large Sky Domes". Because these are guys are rolling. So rolling they can afford to have floor to ceiling windows, screw whatever the heating bill will come out to be. So rolling that these houses are completely brick; none of that plastic siding stuff. So rolling that they can spell "masterpeice" however the heck they want.  So rolling that they can talk about their Papillon Tub and people will just nod and pretend to know what a Papillon Tub is.

    Really, you gotta head over there and see this street for yourself. If you can find it.