My husband has developed a certain love affair for wagyu beef, which in my head basically translates to "really expensive beef", and when he saw it on the menu at the Page, he knew we had to go.
The Page is a high end beachside restaurant located at the Library, which is not actually a library, as you might have thought, but a trendy hotel in Ko Samui's Chaweng Beach. It's one of those contemporary places built with a specific thematic design - that of a sleek, peaceful library - that leaves luxury hotels like the Hilton seeming kind of boring. I'm not sure how the conceptual designer presented the idea to the financial backers ("You know what tourists would really like to sleep in? A big giant book.") and I was skeptical at first, but the concept really does work in distinguishing the hotel as a quite unique experience. Each hotel room is referred to as a page number, and has this overall clean white look to it, with the path down the middle of the "pages" serving as a lovely place to sit under a tree and read a book.
You can't quite tell in the photo, but the pool is covered with a neat shade of red tiles, which in the daylight kind of makes it seem like you're swimming in blood. Again, I'm not sure how the designer pitched the idea, but it's actually pretty cool.
The Page restaurant further reflected the careful thought that had been put into designing every small detail of the place. Everything from the beachside bar where you'd wait with your drink to be seated, to the bathroom interior which featured TWO WAY MIRRORS (endless fun!) to the dining tables which had drawers to contain an arsenal of cutlery to the lights - you could tell that everything served a purpose.
lights
waiting at the beachside bar with our fancy cocktails, watching the waves
seriously...two way mirrors are so cool. the outside of the bathroom stall door looks like a mirror, while occupants inside the stall can look out the door like a window. obviously having it the other way around would be a problem. can you see me in this photo? I CAN SEE YOU.
The menu featured an "East" side and a "West" side, both quite detailed. We ordered the massaman curry of the Eastern menu, featuring beef cheeks, as well as the roast duck (which curiously appeared several times throughout the menu).
Before our meal, we were served some tasty appetizers along with our bread, as well as raspberry sorbet to cleanse the palette. I love dessert before dinner!
The main courses were full of rich flavour, almost overwhelmingly so. The beef cheek meat in the massaman curry was so soft that I barely needed to touch them with my fork before it came apart. I'd tasted massman curry before, a popular Thai Muslim dish, but now I was suddenly in love and couldn't get enough of the peanut sauce. The roast duck was also perfectly cooked, juicy and tender, and went well with the Chinese brandy that it came in. And of course, there was the wagyu beef, which really will kill it for you, every time you ever try to enjoy non-wagyu beef. Even the mashed potato that came with the beef was like nothing I'd ever tasted before. I would never have thought to describe good old mashed potato as "divine", but here we are now, at the Page. We were getting full fast, and yet couldn't let a single bite go to waste. We really need to start bringing other people along on our dates to help us finish our food.
Massaman curry with beef cheeks
roast duck with mushroom and Chinese greens with Chinese brandy
wagyu frickin beef
What I appreciated about our meal was that the courses were executed well; we were encouraged to dine at a leisurely place, to savour each plate slowly while also taking in the gorgeous landscape. It was a lovely dining experience. The restaurant's seaside location allowed us to dine while listening to the sounds of the waves lapping the seashore, with the constellation Orion hanging over the sky at a downward angle like he was getting ready to dive into the Gulf of Thailand, swim up to the share and ask us for a bite of our wagyu beef.
On the last night of our honeymoon, my husband insisted that we splurge on a fancy meal at a famous restaurant at the Six Sense Samui Resort, called Dining On The Rocks. "It features molecular gastronomy," he told me.
I have no idea what molecular gastronomy actually is. Wikipedia says it's "a subdiscipline of food science that seeks to investigate, explain and make practical use of the physical and chemical transformations of ingredients that occur while cooking, as well as the social, artistic and technical components of culinary and gastronomic phenomena in general." That means nothing to me. My husband tried to explain it again: "It's the kind of stuff that they do when they take one food, deconstruct it and make it look like something else."
"That's what our friends' babies do with every meal," I said.
My husband tried again. "It's like a jazz song. You might not totally understand what's going on with every note, but you go along with the ride and appreciate the overall tone." That I sort of understood. Besides, I don't actually need much convincing to go out and eat more food.
We waved down a taxi. The taxi driver, a short tomboyish Thai woman, had her eyes light up when we told her we wanted to go to the Six Senses Resort. We didn't know why, but we eventually figured out it was because resort was really far away in a secluded place and she'd be making a healthy fare from our ride.
If you are a celebrity reading my blog (I know there are so many), I highly suggest going to the Six Senses Resort in Ko Samui if you want to get away from the world and enjoy a vacation in privacy. It's a beautiful spot at the northern tip of the island, with a breathtaking view but an astonishing amount of privacy, deep in the woods and far away from everything. Each villa is hidden from sight, tucked away from the main road down long paths. Guests who don't have a private driver get around on golf carts driven around by resort staff. It's an absolutely gorgeous location where the restaurant Dining on the Rocks is located, high up on the cliffs with a panoramic view of the sea. The restaurant is a relatively small one, with only about six tables indoors. We were seated comfortably at a table at the end of the bar, close enough to the edge of the cliff to feel the sea spraying into the air. It had a bit of a campy feel to it, being halfway outside with the occasional fly passing by.
The restaurant menu offered a number of set courses for guests to try. My husband ambitiously chose the "Experience" set menu, a ten course meal featuring a spectrum of intriguing food ideas, one of those courses apparently being air. I selected the more modest "5 on the rocks"; five courses was going to be enough of a challenge for me to tackle.
can't wait for bread...must not fill up on bread...
We ordered a bottle of Australian shiraz merlot wine called Moon. Despite being one of the more modestly priced bottles on the wine list, it turned out to be a perfect accompaniment for the rest of our meal, since we weren't opting to go for the suggested set wine course. It also went well with the opening bread with pureed red peppers and garlic.
as a starter, we were both given a taste of duck and scallop with an almond puree.. I knew we were in for a spectacular treat for the next few hours...
His First Course: "oyster rockefella non traditional with rocket and bacon."
Part of the adventure, in reference to my husband's comment about jazz songs, is that you don't always understand what you're eating. What's that white creamy stuff? Is that an egg? You kind of end up just going with it, closing your eyes, and trying to figure out what tastes you can recognize. And if you can't place a name on the taste in your mouth - who cares. It's still tasty.
"I dare you to ask for ketchup," I said.
Her First Course: "scallop in apple-coriander water, almond powder, pumpkin and bacon."
"What are these bubbles?" I asked curiously. "Is that my scallop living and breathing? How did they do that?" There was a line of sauce that was holding back the apple-coriander water like a dam on my plate. I took pleasure in breaking the saucy barrier and having the liquid burst forth like a culinary flood on my plate. Presentation is fun. Messing it up (my "deconstruction") is even more fun.
His Second Course: "hamachi zushi destroyed and redone, sea vegetable, rice, wasabi & lime air.”
Oh, so that's what the bubbles were - lime air. Not that it actually answered any of my questions. This dish was a great example of the unique creativity of the menu, taking traditional Asian concepts and adding a modern twist. Okay, so like every Asian fusion restaurant in the world claims do to that, but there's something about the way that Asian fusion is done in Asia, and particularly here. Here, it's not just Asian food + Western food = I am so clever. Here it is Asian food + smash it up, rearrange it, add some bubbles and random other ingredients cooked in a way that nobody will ever figure it out, in order to produce the most interesting symphony of flavours in your mouth.
His Third Course: "salmon teriyaki, simply."
The salmon teriyaki plate was not all that simple. Those little reddish balls that you see are what the server described as teriyaki caviar, little bursts of teriyaki sauce held in by its own skin. I have no idea how they do that. I'm not sure who could go back to regular salmon teriyakis after this.
Her Second Course: "canned tuna fish sandwich, brioche, potato puree, olive oil powder."
I love tuna fish sandwiches! I loved it when my mom packed tuna fish sandwiches for me for lunch. This tuna fish sandwich also came in a lunch bag....
...and in a special tuna can explaining, sort of, what was in the "sandwich". It was nothing like my mother's tuna fish sandwiches, but then you know, my mom never left the sandwiches in the can. The onions and tomato salsa added just the right kick of flavour, although the can was a bit difficult to eat out of.
His Fourth Course: "paella, prawn, squid, clam, chorizo and saffron."
So I was beginning to notice more and more how the menu was like a jazz song. Have you ever heard jazz pianist Brad Mehldau's musical interpretation of Radiohead's Exit Music? You should. In fact, play this video while you read the rest of this entry.
You recognize the song that he's playing because the theme is there; you can follow the melody. But right around where he hits the lyrical line, "now we are one in everlasting peace" he takes the liberty to go all over the place, throwing in all sorts of new ideas and tunes while keeping just enough of the theme to reassure you that this is still the same song. I've heard at least three different versions of Brad Mehldau playing this song, and every one of them was enthralling. I mean, it's what all jazz musicians do, like Lester Young's brilliant take on "Body and Soul", amirite? I just chose this Brad Mehldau example because I love Brad Mehldau and who doesn't recognize Radiohead.
Anyway, that's basically what these guys were doing with the food. The menu announced a theme for each item, a theme that you would keep in mind when presented with a plate that looked nothing like the theme and yet, somehow, tasted just like the paella your mom used to make, while also being completely different. Chew chew chew...there's the paprika....chew chew chew...there's the saffron....chew chew chew...what is that?....chew chew chew...swallow.
Her third course: "tomorrow’s chicken burrito, mole, avocado and fresh cheese, smooth bean and grilled tortilla sand."
Again, like a Brad Mehldau jazz masterpiece. Looked nothing like a burrito, and honestly, I couldn't tell from sight which pile was the mole, which pile was the beans, but mix it up and eat it all together: there's the burrito in my mouth. Looks like "deconstruction" meant more than what I was doing with my fork and stomach acid.
His fifth course: "hot dog, onion, ketchup and grain mustard."
It looked nothing like a hot dog, but tasted exactly like a hot dog. On the left there, you see mustard ice cream. In the middle, the meat, with ketchup caviar on top, little ketchup balls held together by its own hardened skin. To the right, cheese!
His sixth course: "duck and coke, root vegetables and spicy popcorn."
I had never thought to put popcorn with duck or vegetables. Nor have I ever had the brilliance to think about making Coca Cola jelly. Holy duck! The possibilities...
His seventh course: "pomelo CO2."
pomelo
This course was not, as I originally thought, air. It was essentially carbonated pomelo fruit. The explosive combination of the sourness of the fruit with the sprinkled salt made it feel like a delicious gunshot in my mouth. I repeat: delicious gunshot in my mouth. I actually bucked my head back when I put it on my tongue.
Her fourth course: "lamb: 24 hr. lamb shoulder & 15 min. rack complimented with Mediterranean flavours."
This dish was daunting. Even though I'd only eaten three courses before this main, unlike my husband who was now on his eighth, my tummy was getting filled up and it didn't seem like the restaurant had a vomitorium. Every bite was rich with flavour and I didn't want to waste a crumb...but my overwhelmed brain was begging for a break. That was a lot of jazz for one night.
His eighth course: "wagyu beef rib eye in adobo, garlic and potatoes."
wagyu
This was my husband's seccond time this week eating wagyu beef. It's so rare for us as Canadians to come across Japanese wagyu beef that you really can't eat too much wagyu beef (unless, of course, you don't have a bottomless bank account - which, come to think of it, we didn't).
By the main course, I was feeling destroyed and as deconstructed as my dishes. The server took a look at us and, pitying us, announced a break before dessert, leaving us toothpicks. This may be all in my head, but it seemed like even the toothpicks were of a superior quality.
Her fifth and final course, thank god: "variations in dark chocolate….taste, texture, temperature."
Like Thelonius Monk's particular brand of bebop, I didn't totally understand everything that was happening on this plate, but I had no problem with it. When it comes to chocolate, to put it in the words of Ellie Goulding, anything can happen, and dammit, I want it all to happen in my mouth.
His ninth course: "peanut butter and jelly, buttery bread and crispy milk, semi dried grapes."
fancy PB&J! All the was missing was our mothers reading us a bedtime story. My husband was lucky. He also got another dessert:
His tenth course: "making a reference to a campfire: graham wafer and chocolate, charred marshmallow and smoked vanilla, contrasted with passion fruit."
After extensive traveling, I've come to realize that s'mores is actually a uniquely North American snack that many parts of the world has not had the privilege to experience. In Namibia, I had the pleasure of introducing the concept of s'mores to my African friends when we went camping, and obviously they liked it. Who doesn't like s'mores? Imagine my pleasant surprise in seeing it pop up in this Asian part of the world, deconstructed and redone and damn delicious.
so fully. so very very full.
After many hours of eating and drinking and thinking about what we were eating and drinking, we were feeling pretty tired by the end. But happy. If I could make one suggestion for the restaurant, it would be that they should provide wheelbarrows for guests leaving the table so they can push their stomachs along in them. But I guess the golf carts did the trick too.
When I told my hairstylist in Ottawa, a lovely woman originally from Vietnam, that my partner and I were going to Southeast Asia for our honeymoon, she emphatically insisted that we go to "Geisho" when we got to Thailand.
"Is that a place?" I asked confusedly.
"You know, Geisho!" she said again. "But don't sit your man at front. They do things to man in front."
I realized that she was referring to a "gay show".
The Thai concept of kathoey, or what is popularly termed as ladyboy in English, does not exactly have a direct Western translation. Some kathoey explain it as being of a third gender or a women of a second kind. Sometimes it refers to an effeminate gay man. Sometimes it refers to a person born as a biological man who has undergone a full surgery or is taking hormonal therapy. Some dress as men during the day at work, and dress as women at night.
We hadn't really planned on seeing a ladyboy show in Thailand, but I really wanted to learn more about kathoey while I was in Thailand. Although I am a cisgender woman, I find it fascinating to learn about different concepts of gender identity in other cultures. I just wanted to tap the kathoey clerk at our Bangkok hotel on her shoulder and ask her all sorts of questions about her life. That would be intrusive, of course, and I am a polite Canadian, so I did not. Instead, I bought a book on the subject and read it by the hotel pool.
Contrary to popular Western belief, ladyboys are not always readily accepted in Thai society, even though the term kathoey has for a long time and often ladyboys begin to self-identify at a very young age, as early as eight. Ladyboys often face public ridicule; sometimes they are kicked out of the house for bringing shame on the family. The ones that leave home early are denied an education, and cannot get well-paying office jobs. Even if they do have an education, many employers do not want to hire a ladyboy. This is why ladyboys disproportionately work as prostitutes or performers. Even after going through a full gender reassignment surgery, the Thai government does not recognize them as women, and forces them to don the "Mr" title on their passports. Meanwhile, the police often arrest ladyboys on the streets while propositioning to them at the same time.
By the time we got to Ko Samui, I decided it would be fun to hit up a ladyboy cabaret. Our guide assured us that the ladyboy cabarets were magnificent spectacles, with no affiliation whatsoever with the go-go bars in Patpong, and while I was worried about the idea of paying ladyboys to dance and pose in front of us like zoo animals, I did see that a lot of families brought their kids to the ladyboy cabarets and having a lot of fun. So we headed over to Stars Cabaret in Chaweng.
It's free to get into the show at Stars Cabaret, but there is a one drink minimum, and as you might guess, the drinks are way overpriced. Still the show was quite entertaining, as the performers came on stage in fabulous costumes and fun dance sequences. It's obvious that they spend a lot of time rehearsing and that they enjoy showing off their talents to the tourists. Between the ladyboys shaking their peacock feather-adorned booties to Lady Marmalade, and the showboys dancing around in high heels, mascara, tight black pants, and no shirts, there more going on than my eyes could keep up with.
also featuring showboys
I was impressed not only by kathoey's ability to transcend gender, but also, apparently race. The Thai performers were imitating white and black singers convincingly, without resorting to offensive caricatures (ie, no blackface). They were clearly the masters of makeup. I was tempted to run backstage and beg them to give me lessons in eyeliner.
One of my favourite acts involved a single performer dressed as a man on one side and as a woman on the other side, singing the famous duet "One Man Woman" (you can see another similar performance here). During the female vocals, the performer presented the female side, and during the male vocals, the performer presented the male side. It was fun to watch, if not at the least because it allowed you to see the performer both in drag and not in drag at the same time...not to mention also a white woman and an Asian man at the same time.
there's her...
there's him...
there's them!
There was, as my hairstylist warned, a lot of audience participation, sometimes involuntary: "Toni Braxton" convinced one of the male audience members to give her a kiss on the cheek, while another performer teased a shy Korean tourist who was trying to hide behind his iPad. It was definitely an entertaining night.
Management invited us and some of the other guests to a cocktail party by the resort's seaside pool. There, while munching on various yummy fried appetizers, we met Martin, one of the staff members. We told him how we were enjoying the food culture here in Koh Samui, although we were always keeping an eye out for the cheaper street food that Thailand is good for.
"Why not eat where the Thais eat, for a change?" Martin suggested. "Away from where the tourists stay."
Martin suggested a local favorite that might interest us. It was located on the other side of the fork in the road that we always passed. (Side note: The island of Samui pretty much has, like, one major road that circles around the whole island). On that road less travelled, giant trucks obnoxiously blasted the Rocky soundtrack to advertise tonight's muay Thai game passed less frequently, and less Indian tailors tried to engage you in conversations to sell you suits, and less beggars limped along the sidewalk. Instead, there were rows of vegetable markets, kabab stands, and the occasional sleazy massage bars where girls in tight dresses waited for their white princes to come and fill their pockets.
The restaurant, Mitra, was an open air stop, displaying seafood on ice at the front, like the huge warm water lobsters mysteriously lacking in claws, and what looked to me like a shark. The restaurant ran until two in the morning, and seemed to be the place where Thai workers grabbed a bite after their shifts. The walls are covered with photos of the restaurant's dishes, photos of people eating them, and, oddly enough, photos of kittens. A flame grill at the back cooked the giant fish, filling part of the restaurant with smoke. Mangosteen pieces littered the ground. Everything smelled delicious.
They sat the farangs like us at the back of the restaurant. At the table next to us where bored Thai teens, watching soap operas on their iPhones and eating spaghetti.
We ordered the phad kea mao, a red chili curry with coconut milk.
"Make not spicy," the server told us, more than asking us. It's because I'm with my white "no spice" husband. She doesn't know I'm from Korea, That Other Part Of Asia That Loves Spice. But it's okay. The dish will come not spicy, and I'll just add the chili powder they leave at all the tables, which is another custom I really like.
A lot of the restaurants in Thailand offer the usual Thai dishes, massaman, green curry, paenang, but also "western" dishes like spaghetti or chicken nuggets. I suppose it's for the tourists who, after weeks on the road, grow tired of Asian food and miss "regular" food. If there's one thing my trip here has taught me so far, it's that I apparently cannot get tired of Asian food, which I just see as food. I love Thai food. I have been eating Thai food for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and continue to crave more. No matter whether we're eating at an upsale dining restaurant or a food stand on the street, I have loved every meal I've eaten here. I'll be sad when I leave this country and its amazing food...although maybe once I leave, my weight will go back to normal.
